Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Oh No! Govt's Gonna Ban Energy Drinks!!!

                    

Nigeria's House of Representatives yesterday moved a motion which seeks to ban the importation and sale of caffeinated drinks (Energy Drinks) in the country.

After the motion, which was sponsored by Hon. Yacoob Bush-Alebiosu, was passed, the House directed its Joint Committee on Health/Commerce to investigate the importation and distribution of the drinks, collectively known as 'Energy Drinks'.

He expressed concern that heart diseases caused by the consumption of these energy drinks, especially among young people, is alarming and threatens the health condition of younger generations.

He expressed concern that the drinks were first choice beverages among young people, especially on campuses, bars, clubs and social functions across the country.

Bush-Alebiosu added that many brands of the drinks had flooded the country, as consumers were also mixing them with alcoholic drinks.

The lawmaker listed Germany, Norway, France and Denmark among some of the countries that had banned the sale of the drinks in their jurisdiction “as a result of health risks caused by the consumption of energy drinks, including reported cases of deaths.”

According to him, research conducted by the Cardiovascular Research Centre at the Royal Adeliade Hospital and Adeliade University in Southern Australia reveals a link between students consuming a particular brand of energy drink and the unstable state of their hearts.

Bush-Alebiosu said, “Other studies have revealed that the consumption of energy drink causes the heart to stop functioning at intervals and that the consumption of a 250ml can of energy drink can lead to blood clotting, which is highly fatal.”

You know what this means. . . A sharp rise in the price of energy drinks!

It amazes me that of all pertinent issues plaguing our nation today, the House saw it fit to focus all their energies on the issue of energy drinks!

Not saying the health concern of youths is not important, and in this vein, we thank the honourables for their attention and concern for our health and all, but. . .

. . . No thanks. We're fine.

Do they have any idea how many people's mojo's they're gonna kill if they go ahead with this ban?

The use of energy drinks is how we get our groove on. . . BEFORE WE GET OUR GROOVE ON. . . Know what I mean?

There's gonna be a lot of disppointed men and woman out there, as well as energy drinks companies and importers of the stuff.

Government is toying with our sexuality. . . they're tugging at our balls, and they'd better let go, or someone's gonna get hurt!

When a man meets a woman, the first thing he does is chug down an energy drink. In fact, when you see a couple at an outing, the first sign you see that something's gonna happen is a can of ice cold energy drink sweating away in the guy's hand.

Government: Let go of our balls and leave the energy drinks ALONE! Concentrate on regulating the stuff, so we know which ones are better suited to our health.

The heart of an African is stronger than anyone thinks.

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